| 39851 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-06-04 |
| OMG! So powerful! I think it's my new favourite!|
Luna felt she was walking in a dream the next few night. The very next day when Luna felt she had woken up and broken through a stone case, she was that the sky was a dark blue and the first stars were twinkling. 'This is the earliest your likely to wake up.' Said a voice behind her. Luna had already come to love that voice. 'Once it's dark enough,' Vastwars went on, 'We will do a little cloud jumping.' Luna steadily became more alert with the brightening of the stars and the darkening of the sky. 'Now,' said her companion suddenly. 'Now we can go. You won't ride on my back today. Well, actually you may for the fist few jumps. But when I say, you must grab on to may tail and do a little leaping for yourself.' 'Will that not hurt?' 'Not at all. Wanil's have very unique tails. Now climb on.' Luna did so and it was just like last time, the only difference being that they were going down a little every time then up. She realised that cloud leaping was very unlike hill climbing, and that it was a nicer feeling to go up, than down. After ten or so jumps, Wanil and rider landed on a large, roomy cloud the former, instead of leaping to the edge and on to the next cloud as Luna expected him to, paused for a second and told her to grab his tail. When he made sure Luna's hands were firmly clasped around his tail, Vastwars took two great bounds, with Luna half leaping, half diving behind him and then with a kicking a little star dust and cloud into Luna's face (It stung but not in a painful way) he dived to the next cloud. Luna, seeing that her guide had kept his legs together, did the same before she felt stars and clouds whirl past her, and the next thing she felt was a large chunk of cloud in her face. 'Luna, I must ask you not to land on your face. You will not have much momentum like that.' With difficulty, the student addressed plucked her head out of the pile of candy floss and clutched at her mentor's tail. This time, she fell on her knees and picked herself up. She felt quite experienced after she had repeated the progress a couple more times. 'Home stretch now.' Luna was not sure what Vastwars meant by 'Home Stretch' but she decided it would be a good idea to get back on his back. Wanil's are full of surprises.
| 39952 - Réponse de clara250 , 16 ans (Chine) - 2021-08-08 |
|i think it's fascinating!|
Darling I'll make the moon shine just for your view
Don't you see I'd do anything for you
Would you do the same for me?
I walked through hell with the brown eyed girl
Singing in the shower all alone
Yet I felt everyone there
Oh she was sweet but a physco
We walked the wire on a wild dance
I joined the A team
Yet I am a zero
Take me home to see the man without a face
You are irresistable and I long for home
So wake me up when the parties over
Because I want to see you be brave
The blinding lights will steal my soul
Though I have the highest hopes
For the longest time
I wished to break away
Hey guys I know this is kinda nonsense but I hope you liked it. I tried to reference some songs that I like see if you recognize them.
| 39830 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-27 |
| 39829 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-27 |
| 39828 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-27 |
|I like it a lot! Great job!|
Luna looked down at her bare feet. They felt curiously and deliciously warm. She was standing on pinkish-whitish candy floss. It looked like that any way. It was sprinkled with the same purple sparkles on Vastwars' fur. 'Are we on a...' 'Cloud? Yes we are.' Vastwars was lying on his side with his eyes half shut; he looked like someone sun bathing on the edge of a cliff. Luna was bursting with wonder, excitement and questions. 'Where do all the sparkles come from? How come we're not sinking through? I thought all clouds were mad from water! Can I touch the stars? How come the clouds in the daylight don't look like this? What if we fell of the edge? Where will this cloud take us? Can we go up to the moon?' Luna hadn't notice that Vastwars looked like he was sleeping, but now he said, 'Hold on young one. Let me answer those questions one by one. Firstly, those sparkles are star dust. I advise you to lose no time in covering yourself in it: it makes you stronger and lighter and more night able.' 'How are you strong and light at the same time?' 'One at a time Luna, one at a time. Touching the stars will also be good for you. Star dust also make clouds strong and fluffy, so we don't sink through. If you fell, which there are few chances of and clouds are easily moulded into a large enough size for everyone, you'd be bound to fall onto another cloud. And also, one thing I wish you to understand is that night time has NOTHING in common with day and thus our clouds are TOTALLY different!' Luna started at Vastwars suddenly angry and ferocious voice. She looked at him. He had lifted up his head with eyes blazing. In a second he sank back into the same relaxed position and went on in his normal voice. 'As for going to the moon, it's a once in a life time experience. I nearly got there once. I was a young an reckless youth, but I took too big a leap and fell nearly to the ground.' Luna remembered there leap from an extremely tall roof to the cloud they were standing on and though it would have to be a VERY long jump for her companion to fall. 'Oh, a leap from a roof to a cloud is nothing. You'll learn that in a while.' Luna started for a second time. Vastwars had just read her mind! Ignoring his young companions astonishment, the Wanil went on to tell Luna all about life up in the clouds and how they would drift from one into another, surveying the ground, and how Luna would learn to cloud jump and then to star jump, and Luna listened to her mentor with eager ears through out the night. Eventually, the stars disappeared one by one, and Luna felt a lonely, drowsiness come over her, and she made a lump in the cloud with her hands and resting her head on it and pulling her coverlet around her she closed her eyes.
Meanwhile, a boy and a magnificent lion, with a burning, red coloured mane watched two huddled figures nestled on a cloud float along. 'What were those Alba?' 'Those, Altanot, are my hated rival, the cursed Wanil and his kidnapped apprentice. Those are your targets.'
As the colours of the dawn grew stronger, the world of the night sank away. Vastwars became more and more see through until he had vanished away, and Luna followed him. She had become one of the night.
| 39824 - Réponse de Valerie 162 (Autriche) - 2021-05-25 |
| The story looks so real and professional! I wish I could write as well! Unbelievable! I'm looking forward to the next chapter!|
Bonjour je n'avais pas vu qu'il y avait d'autre Français.J'ai une question est ce que vous avez déjà terminer un livre complet?
There were indeed more jumps to come. Luna and her new friend leapt from wall to roof, going higher every jump. After what seemed about fifty leaps, Luna learnt that the best thing to do in the process of flying mid air was to shut your eyes, hold out your arms and feel the wind blow in your face and hair. Once you got the hang of it, flying was pure bliss. It was so unlike riding a horse. Luna never once felt like she was going to fall of or that she would break her neck holding out her arms mid leap. She was beginning to think that she was an expert at Wanil riding, when she figured out she was wrong. Terribly wrong.
'Here comes the big one.' Said Vastwars. 'What do you mean?' But he was already of. This time they soared. They soared for what seemed like hours to Luna and her seat muscles were getting sore and her head was spinning. Finally, rider and beast came to a halt and Luna dropped of her ride and fell face into something fluffy and soft. It was a whole ten minutes before she got up and looked around. Everything was black and there were twinkling masses of light. Suddenly, Luna realised where they were. Stars!
'We're in the sky!'
Think I tell myself
how hard can it be?
Just ravel inside your mind
and find inspiration in what is yours
You've done it before
Oh has inspiration died?
Has my imagination left
without saying goodbye?
No that cannot be
I'll simply right the first thing I see
But how can a blank page help at all?
Well never mind that I can find a quote
but all I can find is soulless
I'll read a book anyone I can find
But poems aren't stories
They are time capsules to another place
Oh has inspiration died
Has my inspiration left
without saying goodbye?
Beginning to lose hope I shuffle
a playlist made ages ago
But all songs make my mind feel weak
That is it!
I begin to scream
I shall never write again
Without inspiration I can never win
Little did I know that blank page wasa story on it's own
| 39812 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-20 |
|Ok maybe I'll try that. I thought the idea would be pretty cool.|
| 39811 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-20 |
| Well, how about a poem that has a sort of story? Just a suggestion but thought you might like it.|
| 39796 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-15 |
| 39794 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-15 |
| Did you run out of inspiration and think that having no inspiration was inspiration?|
| 39792 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-14 |
|Hey guys! I decided to try something different this time I hope you like it!|
Est ce que je suis le seule française qui veut devenir écrivain?
| 39790 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-14 |
|Je peux parler le francais!
I like your writings all!! Although I can't understand all of them...it's awesome that you know how to write poems! Please post more your writings! I would like to learn more from you!
Vastwars gripped Luna's wrist in his mouth and began to pull her to the window. 'Come with me Luna', he said. 'Come with you where?' 'Come into the night with me. Come and explore the realm of mystery.' Luna did not need bidding twice. She grabbed the coverlet from her bed and threw it round her shoulders, for it was rather cold, pulled herself through the window, and stood up on the outside window ledge. She threw out her arms and let the cooling breeze blow in her face. She heard Vastwars' voice at her heels. 'Climb onto my back and don't let go.' Luna climbed onto Vastwars back and held onto his long, thick fur. 'Ready?' The Wanil's rider gave a squeeze on his sides in reply. 'Well then, let's go!' And with that the beast braced his muscles and sprang!
'Aaaahhhhh!' Luna's scream was half out of fear and half out of the exultation of being in the air. Her Wanil landed on silent cat paws on the top of the garden wall. 'That was the most wonderful and scary thing I've ever done!' Luna breathed as she looked over the space they had flown over. 'The most wonderful things are scary.' Her companion replied. 'Now don't let go your grip; there are more to come.' So with one more look at her bedroom window Luna clung to her new found friend and readied herself for the adventure ahead, for there were to be many.
The darkness caresses your soul
Telling you to remove all light
You ly in death yet all I warned
Never romanticize those of hell
Learn to love those above
Adore heaven instead
Dancing upon the firey coal
Inside the infinite loop
Your hair turns dark as ash
All that glitters is still gold
Yet the world you hide
So follow me to the light
Learn to love what is bright
Leave your anguish in the night
You loved everything
Living in your head more than life
Living in make-believe
Adore heaven instead
and stop romanticizing hell
| 39784 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 |
|Awww your sweet!|
| 39779 - Réponse de delilah79 , 11 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 |
| omg I was gone for a while and I forgot how good your poems were|
| 39768 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-07 |
| 39766 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-07 |
| Your poems always have so much meaning in them!|
Luna placed her hand in between Vastwars lynx-like ears and ran it down his wolf's snout. The Wanil crooned, dog-like and tucked his paws under him with half closed eyes, like some gigantic house cat as Luna dragged herself onto his side of the window-sill, stroking his thick fur. Than, something made her rise and look at her hands. They were covered with purple sparkles that shone like glitter. As she gazed at them, she felt something bubbling up inside her; a feeling of happiness, a sort of carefree happiness, and something else as well that she couldn't quite distinguish. Their was only one reaction she could make to that feeling, and she did it. She laughed. She laughed and she laughed till her heart felt as if it would grow wings and fly.
Vastwars laughed with her. His laugh was a whine; the musical whine of a cat at night, and it sang pure magic into the air.
In the box was an iphone. That was correct, but it wasn’t the iphone she was hoping for. It was only the iphone 21! She didn’t even think you could buy those anymore! And she was right. “We couldn’t afford a new phone, so you get mom’s old one.” Their Dad explained, smiling like it was a good thing. “C-can it call storybook characters?” Chloe sniffed, close to tears. “Um, we had a slight complication with that one.” Their mom said nervously. The tears were stinging Chloe’s eyes now. “You may call one storybook character.” Her dad stated, patting their mom’s back as she cringed with guilt. Chloe’s tears began to spill. How could she choose just ONE? More like one hundred! She snatched the phone from the box and ran to her room. She slammed the door shut and stacked piles of boxes she planned to decorate in front so nobody could get in. She watched her new-old phone’s screen light up, illuminating the large crack on the screen. This is the worst birthday ever, she thought grimly. She glanced over at her overflowing bookshelf, wondering who she was going to call. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, which she decided to ignore. The knock continued for a few minutes, and finally Chloe opened the door and leaped into her closet. She peered under the crack of the door, and was surprised to see Zara, searching her room. “Chloe, this isn’t funny. Come out or I'll burn your gifts.” Zara grumped, pacing Chloe’s room. Chloe let out a small snicker. Like she cared if her gifts got burnt. She almost would have rathered to get ash wrapped in a bow for her birthday. “Get out or you’ll never get the birthday present I got you!” Zara snapped. Now that caught Chloe’s attention. She crawled stealthily out of the closet and poked Zara’s leg. “EEEEEEEEEE!” She shrieked, whirling around faster than a racecar on a book on the couch with Sparky curled up beside her, and her dad was on his phone, catching up on Facebook or something. Of all the new apps, her parents still stuck with dumb ol’ Facebook. “Where did Zara go?” Chloe asked sternly, placing her hands on her hips. Her parents gave each other unsure glances, until her dad spoke up. “She’s just running some errands for us.” He said, not taking his eyes off his phone. Chloe grunted. ‘What a typical excuse.’ She thought, glaring at her parents. “I do NOT believe that!” She snapped, stomping over to her mom. “She’s going on a date with that dumb Eric guy, right?” Chloe asked, reaching her hand for Sparky’s soft fur. Instead she felt her mom’s strong grip. “We do not call people dumb in this household, Sweetie. You know that.” She said firmly. “You always take Zara’s side!” Chloe whined, pulling away from her mom’s grip. “She isn’t at her date yet, ok? It’s not until later.” Chloe’s mom said matter-of-factly, releasing Chloe’s hand. Chloe ran back upstairs and back into her room. She curled up in her bed, hugging her stuffed elephant, Binky, and eventually cried herself to sleep. When she woke up, she pranced downstairs with new energy. She’d barely slept the night before, but who did the night before their birthday? Especially when they THOUGHT they would get the gift of their dreams. She saw Zara on the tattered arm chair, clutching a shiny white box. To Chloe’s surprise, Zara handed her the box. It looked like the boxes that held expensive diamond rings, just bigger. “What, you want me to propose to Eric for you?” Chloe blurted out, examining the box. Zara rolled her eyes. “No, idiot, it’s for you.” She said, annoyed. Their mom shot Chloe and Zara a ‘look.’ “What is with the name calling, girls? I hope this is just a phase…” She said nervously. “Just open it.”
| 39771 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-09 |
| Like a page on this website so we can message each other. If you click on my page I have one.|
| 39769 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-08 |
|What do you mean?|
| 39765 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-07 |
| Do you have a 'Students of the world' account Maddie?|
| 39761 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-05 |
|Thank you so much!|
| 39759 - Réponse de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-05-04 |
| This is even better than your last one. I love how it's building up!|
Saturday, April 11th, 2048
Chloe Harris awoke in excitement. Today was the day! Her fourteenth birthday was finally here, and as a birthday present, she was sure that she would get the one thing she’d been longing for for years! The new, improved iphone 67! It had the ability to call any storybook character, install up to 6,000 apps, and take pictures with over 800 filters! Well, her parents hadn’t actually told her they’d get her one… yet. But Chloe was sure she would. She sprung out of her bed excitedly, unlike her usual habit of sleeping in on Saturdays. She threw on a striped T-Shirt and jean shorts. Her parents always told her that April was too cold for shorts, but she was sure they’d make an exception on her special day. She sprung downstairs and bounced around, shrieking the word ‘PRESENTS!’ over and over like the psycho clown from the movie ‘Inside Out.’ After a few minutes of doing this, she was greeted by grumpy, tired parents and an even grumpier older sister, Zara. Chloe addressed her as the ‘16 year old pain in the bottom.’ “Why did you get me up so early? I have a date with Eric today, and I’m going to have dark circles under my eyes. And it’s all YOUR fault!” She complained, whining like a 4 year old. “Uh, it’s my BIRTHDAY. Your 18th boyfriend can wait.” Chloe replied casually, rolling her eyes. Zara whined to mom and mentioned something about Chloe being a fat meanie. “So, can I open my presents now?” Chloe grinned, jumping around in a circle. “Hold up, it’s 6:26 in the MORNING.” Zara groaned, glancing at mom and dad hopefully. But to Chloe’s delight, their dad was already on his way to grab the presents from the basement. Zara sulked and sat down on the old couch, torn and ripped apart by their dog, sparky, who was napping in the dining room. Soon enough, their dad came back with a big stack of presents. Chloe saw Zara shoot the stack of presents with a jealous glare, which just made Chloe even more content. She grabbed the biggest one, because that obviously wasn’t iphone size. The main reason she wanted the iphone so badly was to call all her crushes from books- and she had many. Her excitement rose as she tore apart the shiny green wrapping paper, which faded as soon as she saw what it was. SOCKS. Her parents had gotten her a pack of 100 SOCKS for her birthday. She plastered on a fake smile. “Thank you! Gotta love those socks, heh heh.” She exclaimed unconvincingly, patting the box of socks like it was a prized possession. Her sister was definitely not fooled, but her parents, weirdly, were. “We thought you could use some new ones, since all your others had holes in them.” Her dad explained. “Aren’t they ADORABLE?!!” Her mom gushed, grinning widely. Chloe couldn’t help but consider her mom brain dead, staring at the llama patterned socks in disappointment. “Well? What are you waiting for? Open the next one! I don’t want to waste any more of my time on this!” Zara said grumpily under her breath. Chloe sighed and shoved the socks away, trying to dig up hope for the next present. She went through four more presents until there was just a small, iphone sized box left. But after the past presents, she wasn’t so sure. The presents she’d gotten were no better than the socks. A whoopee cushion, which she was not allowed to use on her sister (so what was the point?) A pair of pink underwear, a rhino plushie, and a journal, which she planned to secretly recycle. As she grabbed the final box, her hopes rose. It was the weight of an iphone 67! She slowly tore the thin wrapping paper, her heart pounding. It was like the contents of this box was a matter of life and death.
| 39754 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-05-03 |
|Find out the box contents tomorrow!|
The voice was a steady, sharp one. He spoke with sigh; Luna one again sensed the fresh, crisp air.
'What are you?' Luna's voice was barely an inaudible whisper. The creature's delicate ears flicked at the sound. He turned full to face her now.
'I am the Wanil of the night.'
The words sent a tingle down Luna's spine. It was not one of fear; it was one of mystery, and adventure. 'What is your name?'
The Wanil's answer was an unexpected one. 'Tell me what me name is.'
Luna stepped toward the open window as if enchanted. Without hesitation she laid her hand on the Wanil's mane-covered neck and whispered, 'Your name is Vastwars'.
All you need is a tiny spark
Just a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide
Just change the night
Dye your hair
Lose him in the dark
Sweet to sour
Light to dark
Just different sides of the same coin
All you need is a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide
Show your love
Live your life
Thrive and not survive
Lose your way
Find your heart
As long as you hold on
To the feeling of love
All you need is a little light
To flip the switch and change the tide
| 39783 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-05-12 |
| 39782 - Réponse de Winnie116 , 13 ans (Chine) - 2021-05-12 |
| I love this poem!!|
| 39741 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-28 |
|Thanks! I guess love has been on my mind lately|
| 39737 - Réponse de Amaani0 , 10 ans (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-28 |
| This is really good! Your poems are about love a lot lately.|
Well Luna didn't go to sleep after all. She lay tossing and turning until she was too tangled in her quilt to move. She felt like the something was waiting for her. It made her restless. But it was stronger than ever tonight. She heard the regular tapping at the window.
'Why don't you go and see what that tapping is? Oh don't be ridiculous, it's only the tree outside. How come I've never gone and looked before? Because there's no point. Well it's louder than usual and it's better than flumping around on this damned mattress.' The Luna that thought the other Luna was being silly had nothing to say to that, and so the girl kicked of the quilt and making sure not to awaken her parents in the other room she walked over to the window and gently parted the curtains.
She took a step backwards as a small cry escaped her lips.
There, standing on the window-ledge outside was the most, majestic and wonderful creature she ever had and ever would see.
It had the legs and paws of a wild cat, the upper body of a wolf and the ears of a lynx. He had a Lion's mane that spread all the way down his back and tail. It swept, Luna thought, over his back like the night across the world. The hair that covered the rest of him was not much less thicker.
He fixed her with calm quiet eyes.
'Oh, Luna! Do you see me?'
So everyone, I've started on the story about the night spirit and all. This is just the Epilogue and I hope you like it!
Luna took one more look at the world of perfection that lay in before her. She stuck her nose out for one more smell before she went to bed. The smell was crisp and fresh; it was the smell of the night time. The Night Time!
Her heart always felt alive and free when the sun set and the night covered the world once more. It was a curious thing. Her heart set with the rising of the sun, and rose with the setting of the sun. It was not that she felt miserable when it was daylight. She just felt dull and weary, but in the night she felt lively and alert.
Luna wondered if the fact that she had been born in the evening might have something to do with it. Did she have a special connection with the night? Then there was her name. Luna. She wouldn't change it for the world.
There was another thing that Luna didn't realise. She looked like the night.
She had thick, wavy black hair and a face that glowed like the moon. And yet her face had never caused an alarming contrast with the darkness of her hair. It never occurred to Luna that the very sight of her own face and the hearing of her own name was what kept her lively and blithe in the day time.
Luna took one last look at the moon's friendly smiling face and sighing, closed the curtains and climbed into bed.
She hoped her family might move to Africa one day. She had heard it was so hot there that people slept during the day and went about there business at night. She went to sleep with that thought in her head.
| 39725 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-26 |
| 39724 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-26 |
| Thankyou! Your a very good writer as well!|
| 39719 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-25 |
|Great job! I love the simile: 'A face that glowed like the moon.' You are super talented!|
| 39718 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-25 |
| Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter!|
| 39716 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25 |
|It basically means instead of telling the reader that something is feeling or acting a certain way you show how they are acting or feeling for the reader to infer. For example you could say a forest is "spooky" or "The surrounding trees seemed to close in suffocating all life and happiness with it".|
| 39715 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-25 |
| Thanks! But I don't quite understand what you mean by show and not tell?|
| 39714 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25 |
|This is really good but make sure you show and not tell|
Hello everyone. So I have a story idea but it's rather vague. I was thinking about all the activity off the night and I wanted to write a story about maybe a girl that discovers the spirit of the night a and explores the world of the moonlight. Does anyone have a suggestion of some more specific adventures to build it on?
| 39705 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-23 |
|Maybe it should depend on what spirit it is and the personality. Like night could be some sort of night animal in its form|
| 39704 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-23 |
| Also, I'm trying to decide if the Spirits should take the shape of an animal, or fairy or something entirely made up?|
| 39703 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-23 |
| Thanks, that's a brilliant idea!|
| 39702 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-23 |
|Maybe she finds there's a spirit of the day too and has to solve the night and days rivalry before they go to war.|
Dancing alone is just as fun
Or so I tell myself
But I long to hold your hand
And dance with you in the rain
Underneath that old toll booth
We can sing at the top of our lungs
But no it can't be so
My shadow cannot hide
The monster just like me
Longs to dance alone
I tell it to play nicely
To bow and be polite
But never have I burst a laugh
Under it's watchful eye
So still I dance alone
Happy yet not free
But the fat lady has not yet sung
So my dream it soon shall be
| 39691 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-20 |
| 39690 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-20 |
| Good one!👍|
After what felt like hours, I finally found the next studio. I see a girl who looks about Judy’s age, smiling and grabbing papers. What a relief! She looks SUPER nice! I walk up to her. “Hi! Are you my ballet instructor?” I ask sweetly, just to make sure. The girl frowns and shakes her head. “Sorry,but no. You’re stuck with Mrs.Wodish. Toughest teacher in the book. She’s Molly’s mom.” The girl whispers sympathetically. “Who’s Molly?” I ask. She gestures towards a girl in my group. Oh no. My ballet instructor is bun girl’s mom!!! “Molly’s won every competition she’s been in here.” The girl explains. “With her mom’s training, she’s the best of the best.” I feel faint. Jasmine and Molly have been hanging out this whole time. I’m interrupted by the girl patting me on the back. “You’ll be alright. I gotta go deliver these papers. Good luck!” She grins, then walks out the door. Mrs.Wodish will probably be here soon, and I’m in PANIC MODE!!!! Then a light bulb flashes over my head. I have a flip phone, and Jasmine has an iphone. What better way to chat privately? I pull it out of my pocket and open our chat.
Allie: Hey Jasmine, are we still friends?
Jasmine: Shut up, we aren’t allowed phones
Allie: But the teacher isn’t her-
“Allie and Jasmine, put away those devices, IMMEDIATELY!!!” Yells a sharp voice. I turn around in fear to see the tall, fit, beautiful girl that is no doubt, Mrs. Wodish. And in the back of my head, I can feel the jolting sting of Jasmine’s deadly glare. “You will both be serving detention, and your parents will be notified. And, no freezies!” Mrs. Wodish continued. Jasmine steps up to me and whispers into my ear. “You have RUINED my reputation! We will, never, ever, be friends.”
| 39685 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-19 |
|Sorry I'm still working on them because my spring break is over and I'm doing online school.|
| 39680 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-18 |
| How much time for each new chapter to come out?|
| 39675 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-16 |
|Thank you for the feedback!
| 39668 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15 |
| I like how the story's progressing! One thing I would say is to keep WORDS LIKE THIS to a minimum. Also, start a new line whenever a different character is speaking. Happy writing!|
This was it! I was entering Premiere dance, with my brand new duffel bag that my mom finally agreed to buy for camp attire! I was the last one to arrive, so I asked someone at a desk where the day camps took place. The guy gestured to a door marked ‘studio A’. I took that as a sign and marched right into studio A. Inside I saw a girl who looked about sixteen with legs like twigs and short ruby hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She wore huge fat rimmed black glasses, and a tank top with a name tag that read: INSTRUCTOR. She walked over, smiling. She held a clip board with a checklist on it. “Hello there! You must be… Allie?” She asked. When I nodded, she smiled. “My name is Judy Doward. I am your acro instructor.” She said sweetly. My face twists into a confused expression. “Acro?” I ask. “What’s acro?” Judy opens her mouth to reply but is interrupted by laughter from behind us. We turn to see a group of girls that must be my campmates. I see Jasmine, but mostly I see that she’s laughing too. Judy puts her hands on her hips playfully. “C’mon. The ol’ Alls is new! Give her a helping hand for Pete’s sake.” She teases. I smile at her. The girls shrug and begin to chat again. Judy bent down next to me and whispered into my ear: “Acro stands for Acrobatics, meaning like, rolls and flips and stuff.” And then she walks to the front of the studio. “Okay, girls! I need to pick up some freezies for later. But I will only get them if you promise to include Allie here in your chitter chatter. Deal?” Judy announces. The girls nod, and Judy leaves the studio. I walk over to Jasmine, who’s talking with a short girl with a few freckles and blonde hair pulled up in a tight bun. “Hey, Jasmine!” I exclaim. The girl she had been talking with glared at me and scooted away. I take her place. Jasmine glares at me as well and scoots away. I didn’t get it. I brushed my teeth this morning. I washed my hair. As far as I knew, all I’d done was said hi. I sit alone until Judy comes back. Judy gestures at me. “Were you including Allie?” She asks matter-of-factly. The girls shrug, and then Judy holds the box full of Mr.Freeze freezies over the trash can. The girls erupt in nods to save the freezies. I sigh. Maybe they were nervous for their first day too. “Ok!” Declares Judy. “Let’s get started!” She sits down on the floor. “Everyone separate.” Judy says. I rush to a spot near Jasmine, but It’s already taken by bun girl. I try to shrug it off and sit in the back left corner. Immediately, Judy twists in a pose that doesn’t look like something the human body should do! No matter how much I twist or turn, I just can’t do it! The other girls do it perfectly and laugh at me like I’m a big, clumsy, hippo. Maybe they’re not that far off. It goes on like this for the rest of class, but I still have hope. Because I, Allie Torian, do not give up that easily. Why would I? Jasmine was still my BFF, right? Or wrong? I should ask her during lunch. That seemed reasonable.But now, it was time to meet my instructor for next class. I hope they’ll be as nice as Judy! I hope I’ll be good at it! I hope Jasmine will talk to me! I hope, I hope, I hope…
| 39667 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15 |
| Hiya! I like the concept here, but I suggest breaking up the text into paragraphs to make the reading easier. ;)|
| 39661 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-13 |
|Sorry, I'm still working on it! But I'm glad you liked the first chapter!|
| 39659 - Réponse de Amaani0 (Grande Bretagne) - 2021-04-12 |
| I hope the next chapter is coming out tomorrow?!|
Hello! Today, April 23rd, I received what I thought was the best news ever. I was going to attend Premiere dance camp with my best friend! Me, my name is Allie, and my best friend, Jasmine, had been inseparable since when we met in kindergarten! It would start tomorrow, and I was psyched! I mean, she’s way better at dance then me, but I’d probably catch up, right?
SPOILER ALERT: I didn’t.
This is the story of my dance camp disaster, and how, thankfully, I made it out alive.
| 39645 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-11 |
|Chapter one coming tomorrow!|
Today I fell and you did not see
How my heart stopped beating
And my life left me
Now you still believe I am here
Dreaming of you in sleep
Oh my darling never forget
The waltzes we would dance
The worlds we would emerge
and the memories we would make
Now you see that I am gone
Oh how your heart yearns for me
Please believe oh can't you see
I must go it is the only way
I am still here
Wherever you may go
Even though it won't show.
| 39684 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-19 |
|Look I don't want to start a fight but your only 12 years old and I'm perfectly fine with my poetry the way it is. It's not a story per se but a time capsule to a period in my life or a certain mood I was in.|
| 39683 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-19 |
| It doesn't seem like you understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying there's a problem with the poem's structure, but the content is vague. This poem gives a sense of longing and sadness, but isn't very specific.
If you choose not to listen to my advice, that's fine. This is my constructive criticism from writer to writer.
| 39681 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-18 |
|Yeah I do that so the reader can interpret what's going on instead of dumping information.|
| 39677 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-17 |
| Hi Delaney. I meant how the stanzas of the poem are connected to one topic.|
| 39674 - Réponse de Delaney26 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-15 |
|Thanks Juliana but none of my poems are really meant to connect|
| 39669 - Réponse de Juliana103 (Canada) - 2021-04-15 |
| This is good! I suggest you work on conveying a message in the poems, because right now the ideas are good but how they're connected is unclear. Have a good day :)|
| 39643 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-10 |
|Lol Thank you|
| 39642 - Réponse de Maddie93 , 10 ans (Canada) - 2021-04-10 |
|This is kind of AWESOME!!!|
| 39633 - Réponse de Delaney37 , 13 ans (USA) - 2021-04-08 |