Forum Métiers - Ecrivain
- Filtre optionnel -
Recherche d'un mot :

modifier supprimer 39713 - de Amaani , 10 ans (GBR) - 2021-04-25
Ecrivain : "The Heart of the Night: Chapter 1"

So everyone, I've started on the story about the night spirit and all. This is just the Epilogue and I hope you like it!

Luna took one more look at the world of perfection that lay in before her. She stuck her nose out for one more smell before she went to bed. The smell was crisp and fresh; it was the smell of the night time. The Night Time!
Her heart always felt alive and free when the sun set and the night covered the world once more. It was a curious thing. Her heart set with the rising of the sun, and rose with the setting of the sun. It was not that she felt miserable when it was daylight. She just felt dull and weary, but in the night she felt lively and alert.
Luna wondered if the fact that she had been born in the evening might have something to do with it. Did she have a special connection with the night? Then there was her name. Luna. She wouldn't change it for the world.
There was another thing that Luna didn't realise. She looked like the night.
She had thick, wavy black hair and a face that glowed like the moon. And yet her face had never caused an alarming contrast with the darkness of her hair. It never occurred to Luna that the very sight of her own face and the hearing of her own name was what kept her lively and blithe in the day time.
Luna took one last look at the moon's friendly smiling face and sighing, closed the curtains and climbed into bed.
She hoped her family might move to Africa one day. She had heard it was so hot there that people slept during the day and went about there business at night. She went to sleep with that thought in her head.


39713 -
modifier supprimer 39725 - Réponse de Maddie , 10 ans (CAN) - 2021-04-26

Thanks!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39724 - Réponse de Amaani (GBR) - 2021-04-26

Thankyou! Your a very good writer as well!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39719 - Réponse de Maddie , 10 ans (CAN) - 2021-04-25

Great job! I love the simile: 'A face that glowed like the moon.' You are super talented!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39718 - Réponse de Amaani (GBR) - 2021-04-25

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter!

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39716 - Réponse de Delaney , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25

It basically means instead of telling the reader that something is feeling or acting a certain way you show how they are acting or feeling for the reader to infer. For example you could say a forest is "spooky" or "The surrounding trees seemed to close in suffocating all life and happiness with it".

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39715 - Réponse de Amaani (GBR) - 2021-04-25

Thanks! But I don't quite understand what you mean by show and not tell?

39713 -
modifier supprimer 39714 - Réponse de Delaney , 14 ans (USA) - 2021-04-25

This is really good but make sure you show and not tell




Forum Métiers - Ecrivain - (c) Etudiants du Monde / Students of the World
pour toute remarque / question, merci de contacter le webmaster :

https://StudentsOfTheWorld.info