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Blue Bird Dangers
To conserve our young hearts
we make the most of the next two months
and keep our fresh minds light.
Future holds distress---
Roots of memories sprout from within
and force us to stagger until we're united.
A path must be made; taken on the way
to reach dear serenity.
Only Slowly
My body goes numb with the thought of whispering Love in your ear.
I thirst for your attention.
So quit your fret and foster this moment.
For these days will be no more without Rebellion.
Don't let it be and don't forget the yearning.
OCEAN
At Last
My two kids play together at home.
My little man with the blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin,
puckered his pink, spit-filled lips.
A big crash came from his mouth.
His older sister, portraying the fearful princess
at the top of a tower, shrieked.
Her brown eyes, identical to her long hair and tan skin, were wide.
My happiness doesnít last long because even a small, grin breaks me---
Remembering that the children will be gone soon,
back to their serene state in Florida.
The last time determined the departure date.
My brother and sister, The Giants
and my mother and father, The Patriots of 2012.
I studied them and wondered if my soft words should interrupt.
In a form of stationary, until there was movement to my right.
The kids sprung onto my high bed,
both running into the wall corner as if trying to escape.
Seeing tears in their eyes was like looking through a mirror.
My body folded like a lawn chair, then became a rock.
Baby girl stopped and crawled to me as a fearful puppy would.
I looked at her, cried more.
She grabbed my arm and buried herself.
I hugged and held her.
She said, Look at me Let me see your face .
I did as she said and caught my breath.
Clean your eyeballs.
I laughed, told her to do the same.
We sat there, both wiping and sniffling.
The high pitches and loud scrappy voices died out.
Lost again in my dark room.
The kids are care free, with no responsibility of the battle
---I wonder if they ever feel a burning reaction inside
that reminds them of the every day fights.
Their beams hold much joy.
Imagination floats midair, circling their bodies.
The two of them aligned different colored blocks
forming what they would consider a castle.
One, not having anything at all in their hands,
pretended they were the dragon protecting its territory,
creating short, simple dialogue with endless sound effects.
Those pea sized teeth appeared again.
Their smiles, long-lasting and bright.
South
Her black tank top fit perfectly around her petite torso. It always raised a little showing her flat stomach. I saw a beauty mark and part of a tattoo below her waist. Most of her body was exposed. She had no bra on and wore extremely short-shorts. She sat on top of my lap as we kissed. Her finger tips gently traced my jaw line. My hands rubbed her bare arms then quickly moved down to her thighs. My hands slid up and under her shorts. I noticed herís came down from my face. Slowly she unbuttoned and unzipped herself. My heart pounded when she tugged at my belt.

I didn't know how this was going to happen; if it would be done quickly. "Move to the right." I did and he injected. My eyes closed tightly on their own. The pain increased and eventually he stopped. He said he'd be back, to just wait a while. My face scrunched a little. I shut my lids. He gave me a massage before I passed out. The next morning I woke up cuddled against his side. I took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. I cleared my mind; laid there with a slight smile. Like a puppy I nudged his shoulder with my head to wake him. I knew we over slept because I remember him quietly pressing the SNOOZE button two different times. I had three hours of sleep and he, only a couple from the set alarm.

I wasnít too late for my flight. I hugged her and held her one last time. When she had to walk away, I couldnít watch.

The sky was just a grey blanket. I missed the real one with two arms, two eyes and a pair of lips. Soft and warm he was.
Connection
Her stare---
Unbreakable---
It's not awkward
and in my head I smile
I wonder
Who she is
What she's like
Why she approached me
Iíll see my reflection in her
when the clocks begin to talk
One-Sided
Mr. Know it all,
The lead wonít get out,
I wonít let it
because youíre an old dog
incapable of learning anything new.
I wish I could recite the alphabet
and have you sing along.
Why canít you wait for me to finish reading
before you turn the page,
say yes to my praying hands
and be my blanket
in sync?
Truth Is
This magnetism is foggy.
You were my shelter
with repulsive colors.
You held up a warning sign
but I was a rebel.
Sat right next to me as Karma
gave a lesson on manipulation.
For the hurt you've caused,
I blame myself.
I wish I could be you
with nothing blocking the door.
To Fathom
Tender words for a Stranger
whom checks off
the values on my list.
Sudden and Surreal.

Doubtfully waiting
at the top of the rollercoaster
with insignificant flashbacks.
The Survival of Hope.
Out Is Through
I raised my right hand above her face and struck it down on her left side. Her skin turned from pale to red. She grabbed her cheek in pain and I noticed the tears in her eyes. I slapped her once again, this time harder. I stood there smiling. She whimpered and placed her palms over her face. I looked into her eyes deeply. She stayed silent and I punched her twice. I walked out of the room and left her there on the floor. I shook my head at what was about to take place. If only she had paid. You see, Nell doesn't like when he doesn't get his money. I walked up to Nell and grabbed his neck, bringing his face into my kiss. I asked if he could give this woman a break but he pulled away. We had tuition to pay. He stormed into the room, she was still lying on the floor. He yelled while kicking her in the face with no sympathy at all. I sighed knowing he was going to kill her. I kind of feel sorry but at the same time I don't. She knew what she was going up against. Nell then cocked his gun and pointed it at her face. She squealed and pleaded but it was no use. She pleaded but she was gone. Her lifeless body on the ground. Her eyes looking up at me with a cold stare. Nell wrapped his arm around my waist as I fixed my gaze onto an empty spot on the floor. Our job was done for the day. We hopped in his car and headed back to our dorm.
Ignored Shame
It started off as a family gathering. My aunt's brother-in-law was visiting from Chicago. It turned into a party as night fell. I only remember it in short clips. Drinks and laughs. It's getting late and my cousin and him bump heads. More laughter even coming from me. At some point we all fall asleep, spread out in the living room. I wake up unsure if hours passed or just minutes. I don't know why I wake up. My cousin is sleeping to my left. The brother-in-law is to my right. He is awake too. Still drunk. We share a blanket. He reaches over and puts his hand on my stomach. I throw his arm off and hear him chuckle. He stands up to grab another Corona from the kitchen. I feel my blood rushing through my whole body. I struggle to control my breathing. I freeze. He leaves out the back door. I cry. I turn to my cousin. I shake her shoulder a little. I can only utter her name once. Please wake up. I failed. Heís coming back. I have to suck up my tears. He began to lay down and the bottle slugged along with him. His hand travels slowly this time. Lower than my stomach. Motionless again, I close my eyes.
New Years
The rain is pouring down
and seizing chills run through my body
as parts of me grow numb.
First my face, then hands, legs and arms.

I close my eyes
and dream of his temperature
pervading my veins
depleting my glacial blood.

Our sweet kiss,
warm, armored hug
and his pure, flashing smile;
all of those, I miss.

One comment drove me in
Innocence held me down
Feelings are making me stay
Close to perfect; almost a sin
Moving On
Sitting here thinking why life is the way it is
While I place my hand into the palm of his
Trying to understand the purpose of pain
And when the storm will end, along with the rain.

What to say now after all I've been through.
He had doubt because of the feelings I once possessed for you.
I'm finally content and can feel it inside,
The strength to move on and a small ounce of pride.

Today I can say I am done
Today I can say I have won
You've lost your importance and you've lost me
You'll never hear those cries again, with syllables of three.
Words
Say these words
Because who knows if youíll
Ever speak of them again
Bogus, passion, dope,
Say poverty and pop-tart
Jeez, lyrical, psychotic, nutmeg
Say dude, pride,
It doesnít matter what you say
Talking is a gift
Say itís beautiful
Say you love it
Say summer
Now low, peace,
Cardigan, mad, slowly, sore
Please do, say shiny
Try plump
And free, say over,
Excited, enamor, inspire,
Say friendly, say done
But you donít have to stop
This is a feeling of
Freedom, of hope
Say it, say more,
Youíll know what I mean
What I Fear
Regression,
Repression,
Fantasy,
Denial,
Projection,
Rationalization,
Reaction formation,
Sublimation.
Never Forgetting.
Unexpected
It was late summer
I wore a light grey cardigan with
a cream printed peace sign on the back
All my life Iíve had this passion for lyrical dance
This evening I decided to go to
this yearís Senior Pride recital
I knew everyone in this piece
and wanted to wish the dancers good luck
As I walked around back stage
I saw each performer with a different painted lips
representing all the colors in a rainbow
After saying hello to my friends and
telling them how much I love their makeup
I headed to my seat in the third row to the right
The show started with a low spot light
and a plain nutmeg colored background
The first dancer was a dude
I already knew he was dope
His performance was called Psychotic
He moved slowly and it was beautiful
Forty seconds into his song
all of the electricity went out
The entire audience was mad
I heard someone yell
This is bogus!
I got up but as I did I stepped on something
It was a strawberry jelly filled pop-tart
and it ruined my new shoes.









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